Thanks to the people who've weighed in on my choices of arrangements, include a couple of emails not in the comment section. I'm still very torn and have turned for the moment to making a baby quilt for charity while my mind is spinning. Any other comments will be appreciated also.
As I was working at my transcription job today I was stopped with great sadness by a rather casual remark. The interviewee is a woman who moved back with her mother's house to care for her as she slips deeper into Alzheimers. The patient had six children, four sons and two daughters. Said the caretaker daughter, apparently without pain, "when you ask her how many children she has, she names the four boys. Then I said, but what about me?" And the mother says, "oh, yes, there was Cathy and Linda."
We feminists will never win our battles for equality as long as mothers value their sons more than their daughters. How many hundreds of years will it be before boy children and girl children are valued equally? How often do we hear of sons giving up everything else in their lives to care for an aging, needy, perhaps demented parent? And how often is it the daughter or even daughter-in-law? 'Nuf said.
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